Why 'Operation Brown Streak'?

 

This is basically a reflection on the state of my confidence about the race. Ironman racing takes incredible mental and physical strength and there have been some 'infamous' moments in IM history where an athlete's commitment to finishing the race has sometimes over-ridden their awareness of their 'intestinal situation'; and indeed sometimes their fatigue has undermined their ability to control that situation. The results have been chronicled by demotivational posters and mean spirited spectators (see left). Overestimating my mental and physical strength is a very likely possibility here. You should all be very aware of my likely immanent demise and help to make it less humiliating for me. Hence: 'Operation Brown Streak'. 

 

Let's put it this way:

 

In terms of biomechanics I'm a real mess. I probably shouldn't be attempting an Ironman. I have a list of old injuries and contemporary chronic ones that are mostly borne from a natural gait that resembles the graceful rythym of two monkeys fighting over a banana. Despite the incredible demands of expending about 4000 calories a day on exercise I remain, pretty much, a fat bastard. I have not all of a sudden morphed into one of those atlas boddied alpha male types who glide silently along the road. 

 

Ironman is about the most severe thing you can put your body through. I don't mean to get the mothers upset here but childbirth rarely lasts 17 hours and you can do it lying down.

 

All in all, the chances of me failing spectacularly are reasonably good. I'm particularly worried about the run as I have never run a marathon distance before and here I'll be trying to do it after 180km on a bike and almost 2 hours of swimming. There's every chance that will result in a spectacular 'mechanical failure' or, alternatively the dreaded 'brown streak'. 

 

I've got some trusted companions to help me out at the event - carry around super-soakers and be ready to 'spray the pain away' should the worst come to the worst. However, the other way you can help me avoid humiliation is by being a little bit impressed by the attempt and agreeing to donate to one of my charities. 

 

Because if I can raise some money to beat cancer and provide clean water, even if I break down in a pile of shit 10km from the finish line... well, I've still achieved something right?

 

guys?

 

 

GUYS?